Negatives

Have you ever looked around you and actually seen how much negative energy is constantly circling you?   It amazes me every day...wars, fighting, murders, anger, hate, frustration....and the list goes on and on and on.  I can't turn the TV on without hearing the horrors of life, whether in this  country or far abroad.  Doesn't anyone realize it takes so much less energy to be "happy" and "positive" about life and things around you, then it does to be negative and fight everything daily?  Fortunately, for me, I have finally realized that I can be happy, even if surrounded by negative thought processes around me.  I just wake up "happy" to have been given another beautiful day of life and I do my best to respect each moment that day gives to me.  I see the beauty in the sky and its incredible brilliant blue shades.  I hear the fox pups yelping in the woods for Mom to get food - Now!  I hear the quiet that the first of the day offers.  I guess that is the part that makes it so easy for me to be positive with the world and people around me.  I take that moment to have quiet and reflect on me and what my day may bring to me.  I don't have expectations of the day that would allow me to be negative by the end of the day, if it didn't work out the way I thought it should.  Each day is given to us, to appreciate and respect and love.

Winter - Snow - Depression??????

Wow....so OK.....hold on.....it is coming!!!!  That is SPRING.....has to be coming right around the corner.  Now for those of you who live in sunny places, like San Diego, California..this story may have little to no meaning.  But can you just try to imagine.  Waking up.....opening your eyes...feeling the joy of a brand new day....and oooooops....all you see if white and gray.  No sunshine...no brilliant reds, yellows, pinks and even the simple one of green...like grass???  It has been proven that people suffer from sun deprevation...causing depression....and I, personally, know that is true.  I NEED sunshine and this winter is totally taking its toll.  Last week we actually had a couple of days  that I sat with the door of our truck open and soaked up the warmth coming into my body from sunshine.  It was the feeling of a re-birth...but now today....the moment of pleasure has been pulled from me.  Over 12" of snow in the past 24 hours and snowing, again, at this moment.  Yes, I know...just close my eyes - breath - remember - and feel the warmth within me.  I now am able to do that, but it still isn't the same when I open my eyes.
Iut it still feels like a "yo-yo" of life (which, by the way, I have spent many too many past years on) ...one day I can reach and feel what is good to me and the next it is taken away. I know this sounds like I am complaining and whinny...ok, so maybe I am a little.  Each and everyone one of us...is entitled to a little whinning.  Now this is just the weather that we are talking about this morning, but what if it isn't the weather causing us such confusion.  At least I know that shortly the weather has to change and has to give me what I require, but what if the life situation we are in is not giving us what we need and we see no chance of a change in the future.  I have managed to step aside of the life things that have constantly brought me to a state of depression.  Now, as with the weather, I can look out the window..see it and then tuck myself safely inside the warmth of our home and forget the weather.  At least for a moment of time.  Of, course I have to deal with it when I look out the window, but I can forget about it for a few moments at a time.  I think that people in relationships, sometimes, "tuck" themselves away, just to avoid what is outside their window.  We can always do that for short periods of time, but we can't do that "tuck" for a lifetime.  At some point we need to feel whole.  We need to be able to look at our lives and not have to "tuck" ourselves away.  We need to be able to look at our mates and feel happiness and warmth from within side of ourselves.  So just for today...look around you....open your eyes....look out your window......reach for that inner sunshine and truely feel the warmth....hold on to it.  Maybe you can only get there for a couple of minutes today...and maybe tomorrow you can hold it for five minutes...but if you keep reaching into yourself...you will eventually be able to hold yourself in warmth and not have to live your life "tucked".   Think about one good happy time in your life and don't let go...add more happy times to each days thoughts.   Your thought maybe only a passing moment when stranger looked and you and smiled...or a favorite Christmas present you recieved as a child....Ok, I know you got it now....so go for it...."un-tuck" for today...

Edit

Can you believe it?  I really do know what that word "edit" means and I really should "edit" my blogs.  But unfortunately, I do not and I just write what comes out of my heart and place it here in my blog.  I do not spend hours correcting or wondering if it is correct.  I know, for myself,  my thoughts are correct, so what if the spelling, grammer, etc isn't always perfect.  I believe that it goes along with life.  Life isn't perfect and those of us living in life are not perfect.  Can you imagine..what if we could, the next day, sit and edit the previous day.  Ok, so I didn't do it just right....no problem..edit..Ok all good, now I am perfect.  Or I didn't like the meal I ordered..no problem...just correct your error by pushing the "edit" button and all is good.  Unfortunately life isn't that simple.  We are going to make errors, that is what gives us the excitment of life.  Errors are what makes us think and decide, was that really the way I wanted it.? Life does give us the opportunity to change.  We can change jobs, we can change relationships, we can change our hair, but we cannot change, "edit", the things we have done in the past.  We cannot blame ourselves or sit back and wish for the click of the "edit" button.  I find, that usually, if I just go with my first instinct, and not sit and question it, that I do not have to wish for the "edit" button.  So for today...just go for it....do what feels right.....share your love.....open your heart....stumble with the excitment.....and just be happy with yourself and do not worry about the "edit" button!!

Friends

I just marvel at the times in my life that I have "misplaced" a friend.  Ok, I didn't actually misplace them, but our lives took different directions in our road of lives.  But the weird part is, how many times the roads end up connecting again.  I have always felt that we are handed a road the day we are born and that we will continue on that road until the end of our current lifes' journey.  You know, "the born to die" routine.   I have found, that with all the intersections that our lives cross, that some of them cross back again.  Now how does it work, when I believe that I was handed a straight line and, of course, everyone else has their straight line...how does it work that these lines can cross over again.  Years can pass by and then all of a sudden a person from my past becomes my current and my future again.  I believe that it is because, when we have good people, that have been close to us, that we just respect the space of the other person.  We respect the space that we need for ourselves as a person and in doing so, sometimes we must temporarily loose contact with friends.  But these people are the ones that once you re-contact, it is like you have never been away from them.  You pick up the conversation just like it was yesterday that you spoke.  Ok, here it is....good friends are always good friends.  They don't have to constantly push into your space to be a good friend and vise versa..you into their space.  But this wonderful journey of life....will continue to cross your roads together.  So embrass the re-contact and feel the good fortune you have.  Do not remiss on the times lost, but the times you have.  And maybe for today...you can contact that friend that you have missed...just like I did this morning.  It is a deep warm feeling to know that "close" is still there.

Excitment!

I must admit I have been very lazy getting back to writting in my blog.  I so enjoy putting my thougths onto paper, but sometimes I am not sure where the time goes.  I think life can be, like, going to a job, that you do not find any satisfaction in.  Or taking a long car ride and all you see is a repetitous row of trees. Now those always seem to take forever...the statements of "will this day ever be over?" I can remember so many days that I also had these feelings.  Today I remorse for the time I have wished away.  The days of "please get it over with".  I feel these feelings came from my own personal inner dissatisfication.  It may be that we have just not reached the point in our lives that we are "happy" or should be "happy" or want to "happy".  It may be that we have not looked around to realize that we just can be "happy".

Ok, now to the point......FINALLY I am happy with life and with who I am as a person.  I am excited to wake up every day and I just can't seem to accomplish everything that I want to get done.  I watch days just race past me.  I sometimes feel I am watching a Nascar race with the cars hitting the tracks at a 180 to 200 miles an hour.   I have projects that I have started and want to complete...I have family and friends that I want to visit....I have quiet time that I treasure....I have so much to give and to feel and to see, that I fear I will miss something.  I have learned that "no" time should be rushed away..that every moment should be treasured...that every job is important....that every breath we take is valuable....it is the "excitment of life---the ENERGY IN LIFE", that I now possess and feel with my every moment.  It is the most wonderful feeling in the world to have inner peace and happiness.  It is there for all of us, we just have look at it, see it, feel it and not be afraid to touch it. 

So, instead of going to work today, and spending your time wishing the day was over...be "happy" with your ability to do the job, be "happy" that once that part of your day is completed that there are more minutes to be valued.  Do not get angry at the fact that you "have to do this job"...be excited that there is a job that needs you to do it...be happy.....smile....and as always....breathe!!!!

Balance with others

It is one extremely COLD mornng here in lovely New Hampshire.  As the sun was attempting to work its way up into the sky, the temperature was sitting at 5 below zero.  At least there wasn't any wind to bring the temperature down something that should only be read about in books. Winter is always such a hard time of year to deal with...sometimes I feel like I have been put into solitary confinement.  It is a great time to get chores inside the home worked on and completed.  It is a wonderful time to sit quietly and reflect on yourself and on others around.  But what if the others around you, have a tendency to consume your quiet space?  How do you maintain a completion of yourself, when being pulled by others?  How does one obtain and maintain personal balance, when others are out of balance?  Why is it that some of us, get a clue as to survival and personal happiness in life (two totally different subjects) , while others just wonder around without even beginning to understand there is something as wonderful as personal happiness?   I have watched friends who keep themselves in journeys of total sadness, confusion and personally invoked pain.  They contantly return to negative, angry, fighting relationships verses understanding that they can and should have a better way of living and thinking about life.
 So as I was attempting to sleep last night...all of these questions and more kept circling my brain.  Faster - slower  -- faster --- slower....my ending consideration of balance for this is to just keep close to myself...try to side-step and avoid the negatives that keep being brought back into my home.  Attempt to be constant with who I am, and where I am...so, hopefully, a different path of life can be shared.  I mustn't ever allow myself to be drawn into the negative way of thinkings...I must constantly know that I am good and that other people's problems should not directly affect me.  I must be supportive, loving and caring (which is way too easy for me to do) and understand that is my path in life, at this point, of my life.  When we are not happy with life, I have always said "well just change it" ...after many years I have understood that "the just change it" doesn't always happen that way.  What I have missed is when you spend too much energy into changing things you missed the things that have already changed.  Use what is around you.. see the goodness that is truely there for you.  Don't allow yourself to be drawn into the self-pity routine of the "poor me's", "the drinking to feel better or not to feel at all", "the "it must be someone else's fault", the "life isn't fair"....yeap I know them all...been there...felt that....and have great humilty to the understanding I now have around me.  There is always pleasure---no matter who you are or where you are.
 Several years ago, my son was in the Navy and was stationed in Waukegan, Illinios.  It was cold, he was alone, the class he was suppose to be in was cancelled.  He hated everything about his station and was nearly considering running away from his responsibilty. When I talked with him, his answer was always..."this place sucks, there is nothing here, it is terrible...etc", so Mom jumps a  plane and goes to Waukegan.  We went for drives, we saw beautiful areas that he had never opened his eyes to see.  The most beautiful was a dome shaped temple. The grounds were manicured to perfection and it was peaceful.  There was a natural state of personal revival.   As my visit ended and I was to return home, I reminded my son, that he only had to drive around the corner to the temple (now we were not religous, but spritual) and find his beautiful inner-self.  To this day, I do not know if he ever directly went back to the temple, but I am sure that he held that moment close to him throughout his military tour and probably even to today.   There is always a time in our lives that we have felt complete and safe, so when you are finding yourself lost and confused, take that moment,  close your eyes and feel that wonderful experience.  It will take away the current fenzy of life around you and wrap you safe.  It will give you the break you need to continue with the daily 'positive" breathes that we breath.

"The Get To's"

I must tell you that being organized has never been one of my best qualities.  It has always been - put it here, put it there, take care of it later...well, I find that most of us tend to do that with our lives.  I will get to: taking care of me, I will get to the gym, I will get to the class I want to take, but way too often - "the get to's" just don't happen.  I feel that it is because we end up building such a big pile of "get to's" that it is almost impossible to get enough energy to just start getting there.  It is such a circle...we want to get it done, but then there is so much to do, that it is just easier to keep piling things onto the pile.  This goes with our inner personal lives, as well as the closets that are over-flowing.  I find that when my tangeable items are out of order, it is nearly impossible for me to focus on the harmony of my inner- self.  When I have too much clutter around me, it also adds clutter to my mind.  So for the New Year, I have started to clean out all the clutter.  One drawer at a time, one closet, one box....but with each sorted item...my mind gets clearer and cleaner every day.  I look everything and decide if it is something that I need to take and have with me.  The amazing part is, with every tangeable item, there is also an emotional item that is getting cleared.  Understanding of myself and who I am is awakening with my every effort.   Projects that I once thought were important, no longer are necessary.  So for today, lets just try to clear one thing out of our lives.  Maybe it is a pile of laundry that is folded, but not touch for days...maybe you need to look at that and decide if it is something you really want...or is it time to remove this clutter from your life.  Maybe it is the car that you jump into everyday, that takes you to your job, and you start your day out with "YICK", as it needs to be cleaned.  Please yourself today...with just one removal of clutter..Let's work our way to finding the balance of ourselves.

Follow the Leader??

Remember that game you once played as a child..."Follow the Leader"?  Ummmmm....I am never sure why I get to these stories, but here we go for today.  Follow the Leader, was an easy game to play.. as it says...we just had to follow the lead of the person in front of us.  If we didn't know what to do...just watch, look and listen and "wow" now I can do it.  But now, as an adult...I find that little training "game" to be incorrect.  We are not meant to follow the next person.  We are meant to follow our own person. Ok, now this is really where I am going with this.  Have you ever found yourself in a situation in life that you were totally unhappy, expecially with people that are around you?  Sometimes I would find myself angry at other people, as their behaviour did not necessarily balance with my requirements of life.  Then I would find myself following in the path that they have taken. I have found myself in that many times throughout my life.  I guess, it is like going back to the "follow the leader" game, instead of holding true to myself.  As that child, it was easy to follow the lead and not try to stand on my own two feet and be the person I was meant to be.  But as a child, we don't know who we are suppose to be or want to be.  Even in our adult lives, we spend much time attempting to figure out what our journey of life is suppose to be, verses just following the positive path that has been laid out for us.  We spend so much energy fighting things around us, verses accepting them and understanding that the things around us are going to happen-with or without us.  Everyone has the choice of their life and the way they want their lives to be.  I am so glad to have learned that I do have choices, but that these choices are only available for me and not for changing other peoples choices.  I have found that, in past years, I have spent so much of my energy in trying to change (ideally, I thought I was trying to help) other people, that I forgot to take care of me.  When I forgot to take care of me...nothing worked correctly. I would work so hard to make things right, that eventually I would just have to walk away because I felt that all my energy was being taken from me.  Now, how silly was I.  I just forgot to put the energy where it was suppose to start at and that was with ME.   But now I know all I have to do it take the path that is correct for me and once I do that...everything else just follows.  Now, of course, the lead is looking postive at things around me..not letting the negatives take control of my life. As I know, I can't change the negative directly, but the wonderful part of things is that I found, now, that my holding onto myself and just being positive...the negatives have a tendency to just slide away.    When I feel like the "negatives" of life are sucking me down and in and I am feeling tired, I just find a quiet place for myself to recover in and regain my positive inner strengths.  So here's to the "follow the leader".....which YOU!

LAST DAY TO FIRST DAY!

Good morning!  I just love the last day of a year..I like to take the time to remember and understand where my life has gone, what it has experienced and consider what parts I want to take with me for the up-coming year.  So many people jump on the wagon with the "New Year's Resolutions"...I have always believed that the resolutions are not always what one should be doing.  You know the big ones like on January 1st, "I am quiting smoking, I am going on a diet, I am going to the gym, I am going to be nicer"just to name a few. Well these are all wonderful conceptual ideas, but why would anyone want to start a new year with such burdens and stress. I always consider the new year as a chance to re-group.  It is a chance  take a deep breathe and look into one's self.  A chance to consider the parts of ourselves that we have felt imperfect or uncomfortable with during the past year.  It is a chance to take the time to understand ourselves and once we understand ourselves, we have hope of being able to correct and adjust the patterns that we have added to life.
So to make more clear of this...consider the concept of "I am going on a diet".  Well, that's a great plan, but would be better to understand ourselves, as to WHY we eat too much?  Wouldn't it be better to correct the bad inner parts of us that provoke the constant eating and weight gain?  Wouldn't the New Year's Resolution be more effective if one was to say "As of January 1st, I am going to understand WHY I need to go on a diet?"
 I do beleive that it true with everything we do in life.  We all have a tendency to "jump" into jobs, relationships and situations before we take the time to understand "why" we are doing them.  We live in a society that is pushing us, forcing us, demanding us to go fast.  Don't take time to understand your job...just push yourself harder to get the advancement.  Don't understand what makes you smoke cigarettes......just pressure yourself in knowing that you have to quit.   Don't take time to understand the relationship...just jump into it, as we are suppose to be in a relationship.  And on and on....thus, all of this adding  more stress to our daily lives. 
My New Year's Resolution is to "take my time, allow my mind to understand my circumstances, picture a goal for myself, take the time to understand how to get to it-without adding stress". I think stress makes us just run around in a circle, like the caged hamster.  He runs so fast in the wheel in his cage, but he never can get any further then inside of his wheel.  When we burden ourselves with too much stress, we cannot get out either.  We cannot think clearly.  We cannot focus on what is truely important in our lives. We just keep running and running, but can never get away.  So for all my friends I wish for you to get off the wheel and relieve yourself from stress.  Find a time, everyday, that you can be silent, a time that you can think...Ok, I know you are thinking..."sure great idea, but how can I take time for me...I just don't have any time."  Maybe you need get up an hour early and enjoy a cup of  tea, while watching the sun come up.  One of my favorite hideouts is in the shower.  Just take an extra five minutes and listen to the water fall onto your body.  Feel the warmth surround you.  Close your eyes and be with yourself for just that few minutes.  My point being that you do not have to take much time each day, but that you need to take some time of quiet space "just for you".  Forget about what you have to accomplish for the day, forget about the daily requirements and the demands that are going to placed on you....be selfish and take the time for YOU!!... Once you start doing this, you will find that it makes the rest of the day easier.  It will give you an opportunity, at any point of your busy day, to just think about your quiet moment.  It will bring a smile to your face and it will help take the stress away. 
So these are my parting words to 2010.....be good to yourself!  Once you accomplish this, the rest will come easy.  Happy last of 2010 and I wish for you a wonderful NEW YEAR and I look forward to sharing it with you!

Just a "WOW" day

Have you ever had one of those days that the plans are so well laid, and then oops...they are change?  Well, that is how my day is going today.  But again, it is just another day in my journey of life.  We have very good friends, whos lives are not going in a path that seems fair.  So with Christmas almost here, we decide to take a journey to attempt to find a new mattress and box spring for a present for them for Christmas.  Now this is all fine and good, but for me to leave and ready out the door at 8 am that is another story.  I make is through the "wake me up to early", and off we go.  The house we went to, where there were mattress sets for sale,  is one of the oldest victorians in Laconia, NH.  It has 26 rooms and all the rooms are filled with stuff. The owner is this wonderful, happy man who is indeed surrounded by his stuff.  It was amazing as he wanted to show us all of his "stuff".  Tiffany glass, brass statues, pianos, antiques of incredible value.  The gentleman opened his home to share his worlding finds with us, but also opened himselves with his pleasure of giving us the home tour.  OK, so you get the picture.....
So now we get back home and my desire is to write in my blog today, ummmmmmm can't get access to my blog......I have spent over an hour "changing" the password-resetting the password and then - it just works.
But "CHANGE" is more directly the word for today.  We change our jobs, we change our clothes, we change our relationships...but can one actually change themselves.  I have always felt that we are given a straight line from the time we are born...we will follow this line.....until the time we die.  Now we also have the right to falter off this line and go extreme to either side of the ying yang/good or bad.  But the bottom line is we are all born to die.  Now getting back to my word CHANGE.....do we ever have the right to change ourselves, or are we destined to the line of life that we are handed?   We all know that we are told we can never change someone else, because that is just who they are...but again....can we change ourselves.  Is the person, that I was born the person, that I am chosen to remain.  Is it my thoughts and feelings that make me the person I am or is it how I use those thoughts and  feelings.  I finally understand that if I had trusted my thoughts and feelings 50 years ago, that my life would have been very different, but did this path of life, that I choice, actually change me as the person I was born to be.  If you believe that your soul and energy never dies, then you might believe as I do, that the knowledge that came with the past life also comes to the next life.  Not all of it, but lots of cool knowledge.  Like how do I just automatically do something, that I have never done?  How does the child of four years of age play mozart?
I am getting too far ahead and way off my thoughts for sitting here today.  The CHANGE was also going to changing my thoughts of what Christmas is suppose to be.  Normally I run around crazy, shopping, cooking, cleaning  and just rushing and do not enjoy a moment that was being given to me.  Well, this year is certainly a change.  My house looks like a bomb when off in it, we are 4 days from Christmas and our friend, the painter, is still painting in our home.  The bedroom is mostly in the livingroom and my "change" is that it is OK.  It doesn't matter about all the hoopla....it is reminding that it is not the "stuff" (as I mentioned early) it is the people who are in your lives. The people who help make our life what they are.  So here's to having a wonderful Chrismas and to excepting the change around me....

Music

I was recently questioned "why don't I just play music for my clients that is the music of their choice with words and loudness, verses music that I feel is "spiritually" awakening.  Well, it is because during a Reiki treatment you need to let your mind float and relax to its natural state of mind.  It is not to be influenced by any outside stimulates. It isn't the music noise that gets you to a silent place, it is the silent place that gets you to the place of relaxation and inner harmony.  We are always subjected to noise...traffic..television..radios....kids crying...verbal chatter....but we rarely allow our minds the silent relaxed place that brings us true inner peace.  It amazes me how anyone can live in a city enviroment, as there is never quiet.  There is never a time that the mind hears silence.  I am so fortunate to live in the country. Most days I can walk in my yard and hear only the trees flutter with the wind brushing the leaves or the birds singing their sweet melody.  None of these are controlling sounds..just natural relaxing melodies.  Have you have tried to get a teen-ager to turn down their music?  The response is usually "I am just trying to be alone".  This being my point..as children their minds are attempting to grow and balance and their minds are always contaminated with outside noise.  There is never anytime for them to have silence. What the kids don't realize, I  think,  is that the loud music is taking away what they are really reaching for and causing more stress to their lives.  As a child in school, we always started the day with a silent "prayer".  Now was that for religious purposes or could it have been for the emotional well being of the children to reach to their inner silence.  So with these thoughts of today...I suggest that we all take that moment, put in the ear-plugs and accept a few moments of silence for ourselves every day.

Energy in Life

Well, here it is, I have finally had the realization of the perfect name for my new journey in life...
"Energy in Life" and I believe that truely says it all.  Life requires energy..energy to work, energy to play and energy just to survive in the hectic times we are always presented..  My hectic starts today with the confusion of setting up this blog.  I had an blog site, called "bridalbluesbyally" and for some reason I cannot seem to access it and add todays thoughts.  So now I have started a brand new site for us all to enjoy.  I think that this is the way it is suppose to be, as I am constantly finding myself reverting to old patterns.  My journey change has gone from closing a business, that I owned for 28 years, and within 30 days starting a new direction of life. So away with bridalbluesbyally, (hopefully I can transfer my other writtings to this blog) and at age 58 a new beginning.
It is so strange with life, how many times we have new beginnings.  New jobs, new relationships, new ideas, new thoughts. How many times do we try to avoid them, as the old was just easier.  Old stuff is something that we are comfortable with.  We don't have to think about it, it just happens.  But for me NEW is exciting it is an energy in life that we are allowed and should grasp whenever possible.  It helps to keep us alive!!  Do you ever see someone and feel that they are just letting "life" disappear?  That they haven't taken the challange that is set before them?  There is a quote that seems to say it all to me "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away".  My training in Reiki has done that for me!  It has given that excitment of purpose. The energy of life that I was feeling I was missing.  I can't wait to start sharing my energy with everyone around me (oh, I am already doing that), to give Reiki Healing sessions, to share my training to those who want to understand Reiki and spread the word.....ENERGY IN LIFE!!!