Balance with others

It is one extremely COLD mornng here in lovely New Hampshire.  As the sun was attempting to work its way up into the sky, the temperature was sitting at 5 below zero.  At least there wasn't any wind to bring the temperature down something that should only be read about in books. Winter is always such a hard time of year to deal with...sometimes I feel like I have been put into solitary confinement.  It is a great time to get chores inside the home worked on and completed.  It is a wonderful time to sit quietly and reflect on yourself and on others around.  But what if the others around you, have a tendency to consume your quiet space?  How do you maintain a completion of yourself, when being pulled by others?  How does one obtain and maintain personal balance, when others are out of balance?  Why is it that some of us, get a clue as to survival and personal happiness in life (two totally different subjects) , while others just wonder around without even beginning to understand there is something as wonderful as personal happiness?   I have watched friends who keep themselves in journeys of total sadness, confusion and personally invoked pain.  They contantly return to negative, angry, fighting relationships verses understanding that they can and should have a better way of living and thinking about life.
 So as I was attempting to sleep last night...all of these questions and more kept circling my brain.  Faster - slower  -- faster --- slower....my ending consideration of balance for this is to just keep close to myself...try to side-step and avoid the negatives that keep being brought back into my home.  Attempt to be constant with who I am, and where I am...so, hopefully, a different path of life can be shared.  I mustn't ever allow myself to be drawn into the negative way of thinkings...I must constantly know that I am good and that other people's problems should not directly affect me.  I must be supportive, loving and caring (which is way too easy for me to do) and understand that is my path in life, at this point, of my life.  When we are not happy with life, I have always said "well just change it" ...after many years I have understood that "the just change it" doesn't always happen that way.  What I have missed is when you spend too much energy into changing things you missed the things that have already changed.  Use what is around you.. see the goodness that is truely there for you.  Don't allow yourself to be drawn into the self-pity routine of the "poor me's", "the drinking to feel better or not to feel at all", "the "it must be someone else's fault", the "life isn't fair"....yeap I know them all...been there...felt that....and have great humilty to the understanding I now have around me.  There is always pleasure---no matter who you are or where you are.
 Several years ago, my son was in the Navy and was stationed in Waukegan, Illinios.  It was cold, he was alone, the class he was suppose to be in was cancelled.  He hated everything about his station and was nearly considering running away from his responsibilty. When I talked with him, his answer was always..."this place sucks, there is nothing here, it is terrible...etc", so Mom jumps a  plane and goes to Waukegan.  We went for drives, we saw beautiful areas that he had never opened his eyes to see.  The most beautiful was a dome shaped temple. The grounds were manicured to perfection and it was peaceful.  There was a natural state of personal revival.   As my visit ended and I was to return home, I reminded my son, that he only had to drive around the corner to the temple (now we were not religous, but spritual) and find his beautiful inner-self.  To this day, I do not know if he ever directly went back to the temple, but I am sure that he held that moment close to him throughout his military tour and probably even to today.   There is always a time in our lives that we have felt complete and safe, so when you are finding yourself lost and confused, take that moment,  close your eyes and feel that wonderful experience.  It will take away the current fenzy of life around you and wrap you safe.  It will give you the break you need to continue with the daily 'positive" breathes that we breath.

"The Get To's"

I must tell you that being organized has never been one of my best qualities.  It has always been - put it here, put it there, take care of it later...well, I find that most of us tend to do that with our lives.  I will get to: taking care of me, I will get to the gym, I will get to the class I want to take, but way too often - "the get to's" just don't happen.  I feel that it is because we end up building such a big pile of "get to's" that it is almost impossible to get enough energy to just start getting there.  It is such a circle...we want to get it done, but then there is so much to do, that it is just easier to keep piling things onto the pile.  This goes with our inner personal lives, as well as the closets that are over-flowing.  I find that when my tangeable items are out of order, it is nearly impossible for me to focus on the harmony of my inner- self.  When I have too much clutter around me, it also adds clutter to my mind.  So for the New Year, I have started to clean out all the clutter.  One drawer at a time, one closet, one box....but with each sorted item...my mind gets clearer and cleaner every day.  I look everything and decide if it is something that I need to take and have with me.  The amazing part is, with every tangeable item, there is also an emotional item that is getting cleared.  Understanding of myself and who I am is awakening with my every effort.   Projects that I once thought were important, no longer are necessary.  So for today, lets just try to clear one thing out of our lives.  Maybe it is a pile of laundry that is folded, but not touch for days...maybe you need to look at that and decide if it is something you really want...or is it time to remove this clutter from your life.  Maybe it is the car that you jump into everyday, that takes you to your job, and you start your day out with "YICK", as it needs to be cleaned.  Please yourself today...with just one removal of clutter..Let's work our way to finding the balance of ourselves.

Follow the Leader??

Remember that game you once played as a child..."Follow the Leader"?  Ummmmm....I am never sure why I get to these stories, but here we go for today.  Follow the Leader, was an easy game to play.. as it says...we just had to follow the lead of the person in front of us.  If we didn't know what to do...just watch, look and listen and "wow" now I can do it.  But now, as an adult...I find that little training "game" to be incorrect.  We are not meant to follow the next person.  We are meant to follow our own person. Ok, now this is really where I am going with this.  Have you ever found yourself in a situation in life that you were totally unhappy, expecially with people that are around you?  Sometimes I would find myself angry at other people, as their behaviour did not necessarily balance with my requirements of life.  Then I would find myself following in the path that they have taken. I have found myself in that many times throughout my life.  I guess, it is like going back to the "follow the leader" game, instead of holding true to myself.  As that child, it was easy to follow the lead and not try to stand on my own two feet and be the person I was meant to be.  But as a child, we don't know who we are suppose to be or want to be.  Even in our adult lives, we spend much time attempting to figure out what our journey of life is suppose to be, verses just following the positive path that has been laid out for us.  We spend so much energy fighting things around us, verses accepting them and understanding that the things around us are going to happen-with or without us.  Everyone has the choice of their life and the way they want their lives to be.  I am so glad to have learned that I do have choices, but that these choices are only available for me and not for changing other peoples choices.  I have found that, in past years, I have spent so much of my energy in trying to change (ideally, I thought I was trying to help) other people, that I forgot to take care of me.  When I forgot to take care of me...nothing worked correctly. I would work so hard to make things right, that eventually I would just have to walk away because I felt that all my energy was being taken from me.  Now, how silly was I.  I just forgot to put the energy where it was suppose to start at and that was with ME.   But now I know all I have to do it take the path that is correct for me and once I do that...everything else just follows.  Now, of course, the lead is looking postive at things around me..not letting the negatives take control of my life. As I know, I can't change the negative directly, but the wonderful part of things is that I found, now, that my holding onto myself and just being positive...the negatives have a tendency to just slide away.    When I feel like the "negatives" of life are sucking me down and in and I am feeling tired, I just find a quiet place for myself to recover in and regain my positive inner strengths.  So here's to the "follow the leader".....which YOU!