Balance with others

It is one extremely COLD mornng here in lovely New Hampshire.  As the sun was attempting to work its way up into the sky, the temperature was sitting at 5 below zero.  At least there wasn't any wind to bring the temperature down something that should only be read about in books. Winter is always such a hard time of year to deal with...sometimes I feel like I have been put into solitary confinement.  It is a great time to get chores inside the home worked on and completed.  It is a wonderful time to sit quietly and reflect on yourself and on others around.  But what if the others around you, have a tendency to consume your quiet space?  How do you maintain a completion of yourself, when being pulled by others?  How does one obtain and maintain personal balance, when others are out of balance?  Why is it that some of us, get a clue as to survival and personal happiness in life (two totally different subjects) , while others just wonder around without even beginning to understand there is something as wonderful as personal happiness?   I have watched friends who keep themselves in journeys of total sadness, confusion and personally invoked pain.  They contantly return to negative, angry, fighting relationships verses understanding that they can and should have a better way of living and thinking about life.
 So as I was attempting to sleep last night...all of these questions and more kept circling my brain.  Faster - slower  -- faster --- slower....my ending consideration of balance for this is to just keep close to myself...try to side-step and avoid the negatives that keep being brought back into my home.  Attempt to be constant with who I am, and where I am...so, hopefully, a different path of life can be shared.  I mustn't ever allow myself to be drawn into the negative way of thinkings...I must constantly know that I am good and that other people's problems should not directly affect me.  I must be supportive, loving and caring (which is way too easy for me to do) and understand that is my path in life, at this point, of my life.  When we are not happy with life, I have always said "well just change it" ...after many years I have understood that "the just change it" doesn't always happen that way.  What I have missed is when you spend too much energy into changing things you missed the things that have already changed.  Use what is around you.. see the goodness that is truely there for you.  Don't allow yourself to be drawn into the self-pity routine of the "poor me's", "the drinking to feel better or not to feel at all", "the "it must be someone else's fault", the "life isn't fair"....yeap I know them all...been there...felt that....and have great humilty to the understanding I now have around me.  There is always pleasure---no matter who you are or where you are.
 Several years ago, my son was in the Navy and was stationed in Waukegan, Illinios.  It was cold, he was alone, the class he was suppose to be in was cancelled.  He hated everything about his station and was nearly considering running away from his responsibilty. When I talked with him, his answer was always..."this place sucks, there is nothing here, it is terrible...etc", so Mom jumps a  plane and goes to Waukegan.  We went for drives, we saw beautiful areas that he had never opened his eyes to see.  The most beautiful was a dome shaped temple. The grounds were manicured to perfection and it was peaceful.  There was a natural state of personal revival.   As my visit ended and I was to return home, I reminded my son, that he only had to drive around the corner to the temple (now we were not religous, but spritual) and find his beautiful inner-self.  To this day, I do not know if he ever directly went back to the temple, but I am sure that he held that moment close to him throughout his military tour and probably even to today.   There is always a time in our lives that we have felt complete and safe, so when you are finding yourself lost and confused, take that moment,  close your eyes and feel that wonderful experience.  It will take away the current fenzy of life around you and wrap you safe.  It will give you the break you need to continue with the daily 'positive" breathes that we breath.