Wow....so OK.....hold on.....it is coming!!!! That is SPRING.....has to be coming right around the corner. Now for those of you who live in sunny places, like San Diego, California..this story may have little to no meaning. But can you just try to imagine. Waking up.....opening your eyes...feeling the joy of a brand new day....and oooooops....all you see if white and gray. No sunshine...no brilliant reds, yellows, pinks and even the simple one of green...like grass??? It has been proven that people suffer from sun deprevation...causing depression....and I, personally, know that is true. I NEED sunshine and this winter is totally taking its toll. Last week we actually had a couple of days that I sat with the door of our truck open and soaked up the warmth coming into my body from sunshine. It was the feeling of a re-birth...but now today....the moment of pleasure has been pulled from me. Over 12" of snow in the past 24 hours and snowing, again, at this moment. Yes, I know...just close my eyes - breath - remember - and feel the warmth within me. I now am able to do that, but it still isn't the same when I open my eyes.
Iut it still feels like a "yo-yo" of life (which, by the way, I have spent many too many past years on) ...one day I can reach and feel what is good to me and the next it is taken away. I know this sounds like I am complaining and whinny...ok, so maybe I am a little. Each and everyone one of us...is entitled to a little whinning. Now this is just the weather that we are talking about this morning, but what if it isn't the weather causing us such confusion. At least I know that shortly the weather has to change and has to give me what I require, but what if the life situation we are in is not giving us what we need and we see no chance of a change in the future. I have managed to step aside of the life things that have constantly brought me to a state of depression. Now, as with the weather, I can look out the window..see it and then tuck myself safely inside the warmth of our home and forget the weather. At least for a moment of time. Of, course I have to deal with it when I look out the window, but I can forget about it for a few moments at a time. I think that people in relationships, sometimes, "tuck" themselves away, just to avoid what is outside their window. We can always do that for short periods of time, but we can't do that "tuck" for a lifetime. At some point we need to feel whole. We need to be able to look at our lives and not have to "tuck" ourselves away. We need to be able to look at our mates and feel happiness and warmth from within side of ourselves. So just for today...look around you....open your eyes....look out your window......reach for that inner sunshine and truely feel the warmth....hold on to it. Maybe you can only get there for a couple of minutes today...and maybe tomorrow you can hold it for five minutes...but if you keep reaching into yourself...you will eventually be able to hold yourself in warmth and not have to live your life "tucked". Think about one good happy time in your life and don't let go...add more happy times to each days thoughts. Your thought maybe only a passing moment when stranger looked and you and smiled...or a favorite Christmas present you recieved as a child....Ok, I know you got it now....so go for it...."un-tuck" for today...
No comments:
Post a Comment